Grace prepares

Grace prepares

By Virginia Higgins 

 

Synopsis: An Australian scientist from Pine Gap finds out the truth while nursing his dying wife

Location: Michigan USA and Pine Gap – Australia

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7 Responses

  1. I agree about the ‘scientists report’ bit Steiny. It’s been present in sci fi since year dot – usually to be followed by a ‘control room’ situation and a couple of heroes running about on foot. A particularly well handled example with some major structural differences in recent times is Contagion.

    However, since the purpose of the virus in JOTS is to quickly set up the environment (no more Northern Hemisphere, paranoia in the Southern) and the battle to remove it is not really a part of the overall plot, I wonder how much importance should be placed on the scientific and government discoveries. Just a thought.

    My main criticism here is with the dialogue. I would suggest reading the whole thing out loud. Can you hear the different personalities? Are there times where there is too much information given? Could it be condensed anywhere? I’m not just picking on you, Virginia. In each of the scripts submitted — my own included — that which needs to be said is often overwhelmed and/or lost in the words … if that makes any sense. It’s true that many people ramble on and repeat themselves in real life but in film, as often as not, a short response is all that’s needed.

    “I’ll be back.” Would have lost its impact somewhat if Arnie said, “Oh? OK then. I’ll drop back later and we’ll see if we can get it all sorted out then.”

    “They’re here!” Wouldn’t have been quite as creepy if the little girl went on to explain exactly who is here, what they look like and what they want for lunch.

    “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Imagine what would happen to the energy of the scene if he went on to explain why a bigger boat is needed and the reasons as to why the vessel they’re in might not be ideally suited.

    All that being said, overall I really quite like this work — the mix of personal and professional duties is nicely set up and there is a genuine sense of dread in the air.

  2. Which transition are you looking for?

  3. This is a very good introduction of Day one events using a standard Sci-fi genre, ‘Scientists discover and report’ technique. I am still yet to see a script that explores the moment of transition.

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